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It’s important to talk

time to talk

1 in 2 people in the UK born after 1960 will be diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime. Over 750,000 people of working age are living with cancer in the UK, many of these people remain in work during their treatment.

The range of cancers, treatments, prognosis and the physical and mental impact is unique for each person. For those affected by cancer, work can be important. Work can bring a sense of normality and financial security. But many find work a struggle.

To mark World Cancer Day, we asked a couple of the #bmFamily💜💚 affected by cancer to share why they feel it’s important to talk about it.

Living With Cancer

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I only told my work colleagues and closest friends. It’s still not a topic I find easy to talk about. Perhaps if we banish the fear around the C word with events like ‘World Cancer Day’ it would help?

Initially my anxiety levels went off the scale, but luckily, I had a super counsellor. I also had a former work colleague called Matt, who was amazing. His messages and emails seemed to always pop up at the moment I felt the lowest. He couldn’t see me, but he knew what to say and it made a difference. He also wrote some inspiring blogs that made me think differently. In one of his blogs he said, “it’s from vulnerability that opportunities grow.”That was a turning point in the way I thought about it.

I have seen this too from my work colleague Gregory, who has written about his recent cancer experience. Positive Thinking 

Both Matt and Gregory have shown me that it’s a positive to be open and have these conversations. For me, the most important thing is to say SOMETHING. “I‘m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care.” “I‘m here if you would like to talk about it.” “Please let me know how I can help.”

So if you know someone affected by cancer try to avoid saying nothing. As the recipient, that feels like you don’t care. I understand that it’s awkward, but not as difficult as it is for the person with cancer! No-one knows what to say, and that’s OK. It’s not something we spend hours rehearsing for! Reaching out a hand, having a hug or send a thoughtful note or text are all welcome. But most of all, take your cue from the person and don’t be afraid. The #bmFamily💜💚 were amazing- I couldn’t have been so positive and sprung back so quickly if it hadn’t been for them!

Supporting

I like to think of myself as a glass half full person, always trying to find a positive side to all situations. But when we were told that our young son had leukaemia, my glass emptied itself. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone, I completely withdrew into the world of the hospital, while I struggled to come to terms with what exactly was happening.

The hospital team, along with Macmillan and Click Sargent were amazing, with support and continually answering questions whenever we needed it. Slowly, as I settled into our ‘new normal’ my glass started to refill and I was able to see a little positive in every day.  We tried to turn the hospital visits into a bit of fun, so instead of hospital stays, we had sleepovers, instead of a general anaesthesia we had magic sleeps and hospital visits comprised of playing on a PS2 and a Burger King, so Tom saw them as a treat!! Seeing Tom laugh and play, even though he was going through so much, helped me be more positive and so we supported each other.
 
The constant support from friends and family was amazing, and never faulted. From just being there to listen to us, as we off loaded to making a simple meal and leaving it on our doorstep.  It’s the small actions that mean so much, whether it’s a short text message or a card through the post, those are things that can get you through a day, I didn’t always have the energy to respond, but that was fine.  So always reach out, whether it’s to support someone who you think might be struggling or if you need some support, because supporting each other is how we get through the difficult times.
One of the reasons why working with the #bmFamily💜💚 is great, is there is always someone for you, to help and support in any way they can, whether it’s a call or just keeping in contact with what’s going on through our internal communication app, Yapster, it just enables you to stay connected and helps you along your journey.